You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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