At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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