You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
