What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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