She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
