is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
love makes seman taste better
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
