We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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