Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
