ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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