Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
