uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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