Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
