NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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