Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
