then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
