You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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