I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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