I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
