I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my liver is dry heaving
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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