We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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