Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
