i can't believe i had my finger in that
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize