i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
