I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
