Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
