great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
then he tried to convert me to islam
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
