im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
