ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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