I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize