when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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