Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize