I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
