So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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