your thong is hanging out like whoa
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
