Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
