Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
