I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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