Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
