Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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