Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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