so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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