3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
