I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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