i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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