Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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