you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
