i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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