Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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