the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
