I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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