These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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