Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
