Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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