Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
