You're completely useless in the revolution.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
