Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
