sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
