Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
