Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
