i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
