That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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